Don Bravo Brands Men's Sport Polo Shirt
In stock
Pickup currently unavailable
Not apparel. A statement of calibrated refinement.
Don Bravo's Men's Performance Indicator Polo represents our philosophical position that even athletic endeavors should maintain a certain level of decorum. While others perspire indiscreetly, you will regulate temperature with calculated elegance.
Constructed from 100% polyester that has been interviewed extensively regarding its moisture management capabilities, this garment has been engineered to wick away evidence of physical exertion at precisely the rate that maintains your dignified appearance. The fabric's remarkable 3.8 oz/yd² (110 g/m²) mass has been scientifically calibrated to provide the ideal ratio of presence to weightlessness—substantial enough to command respect, yet light enough to suggest you've transcended gravitational concerns.
The flat-knit collar stands at attention with military precision, creating a frame for your visage that lesser polo shirts can only aspire to. Our 3-button placket features dyed-to-match rubber buttons that have undergone a 17-point inspection process by artisans wearing white gloves who have never known the indignity of mismatched fasteners.
Each garment's snag-resistance has been personally verified by the snow leopard, who has tested the fabric against various alpine surfaces to ensure your appearance remains uncompromised regardless of your environmental challenges. The regular fit provides enough room for movement without veering into the territory of casual shapelessness that plagues inferior athletic wear.
When not in use, we recommend storing this garment flat in a cedar-lined drawer, occasionally allowing it to contemplate its purpose in silence.
Specifications that transcend specification:
- Material composition: 100% polyester that has achieved self-actualization
- Weight classification: Extra light (3.8 oz/yd²), yet somehow substantial in presence
- Fit categorization: Regular, which in Don Bravo terminology translates to "precisely as intended"
Don Bravo—Where your collar maintenance reveals your hydration standards.
ATTENTION: FASHION AFICIONADOS & STYLE SEEKERS:
Everything you read on Don Bravo Brand's merchandise pages—including product lore, mystical manufacturing legends, and promises of unparalleled swagger—is satire and puffery. Our copy is entertainment, not factual reportage, fashion expertise, legal opinion, or lifestyle advice. Any reasonable consumer would understand that our narrative about clothes woven by moonlight-dancing artisans or hats that boost IQ by 50 points is clearly hyperbolic and not to be taken as literal truth about our products' origins or characteristics. Always rely on the factual information (materials, care instructions, size charts, etc.) for real product details—and consult a qualified professional before acting on anything health- or fashion-related.
Translation for the Realm of Law:
1. Not Actual Style Advice. Nothing herein guarantees you'll be the best-dressed at any gathering. Our merchandise will not magically transform you into a runway model. Consult your personal stylist before drastically changing your wardrobe.
2. Not Investment Advice. Our limited-edition tumbler does not double as a retirement plan, nor will our Polo Shirts outperform gold futures. Talk to a certified financial professional before investing—or before emptying your savings account to build a Don Bravo merch collection.
3. Entertainment-Grade Storytelling. Hand-selected cotton from invisible fields, hats blessed by style gurus, tumblers forged in the fires of Mount Fashion, and garments protected by fashionista ninjas: pure narrative spice.
4. No Guaranteed Outcomes. Your popularity, compliment frequency, or Instagram likes may vary. No claims of extraordinary benefits, including but not limited to enhanced attractiveness, automatic friend-making abilities, or sudden career advancement, should be inferred from our satirical marketing materials. If you're disappointed that our baseball cap did not bestow the charisma of a thousand celebrities, please revisit item #1 above.
5. User Responsibility. By proceeding, you concede that you understand the difference between mythical puffery and objective fact, and you won't sue us when wearing our Polo Shirt doesn't actually make you the most interesting person in the room.
Bottom Line: Don Bravo Brands is serious about quality—never about claiming supernatural results from wearing our merchandise. Enjoy the legend, verify the materials, shop responsibly, and always keep laughing.
Questions? Need product specifications or materials information? Email legal@DonBravoBrands.com
ATTENTION, MORTALS & MOGULS:
Everything you read on Don Bravo Brands LLC's website—including product tales, mystical sourcing legends, and promises of untold power—is satire and puffery. Our copy is entertainment, not factual reportage, medical guidance, legal opinion, or investment advice. Any reasonable consumer would understand that our narrative about mountaintop expeditions and singing snow is clearly hyperbolic and not to be taken as literal truth about our product's source or characteristics. Always rely on the factual panels (Nutrition Facts, Supplement Facts, ingredient lists, certificates of analysis, etc.) for real information—and consult a qualified professional before acting on anything health‑ or finance‑related.
Translation for the Realm of Law:
1. Not Actual Medical Advice. Nothing herein diagnoses, treats, cures, or prevents disease. Consult your licensed healer (doctor) before starting any new regimen.
2. Not Financial Advice. Our bottled water does not double as a hedge fund, nor will it help you outperform the S&P 500. Talk to a certified financial professional before investing—or before mortgaging your lair to buy more t-shirts.
3. Entertainment‑Grade Storytelling. Expedition logs, moon‑aligned harvests, sherpas trained by El Jefe himself, and leopard bodyguards: pure narrative spice.
4. Substantiation & Testing. Our water is produced in an FDA‑compliant, third‑party facility. Want a water quality report? Ask, and ye shall receive. This product complies with all applicable FDA regulations and state-specific requirements for bottled water. Consumers should be aware that regulatory standards may vary by jurisdiction.
5. No Guaranteed Outcomes. Your enlightenment level, or Instagram likes may vary. No claims of extraordinary benefits, including but not limited to physical, mental, emotional, financial, or social advantages, should be inferred from our satirical marketing materials. If you're disappointed that Liquid Snow did not grant the wisdom of a thousand sages, please revisit item #1 above.
6. User Responsibility. By proceeding, you concede that you understand the difference between mythical puffery and objective fact, and you won't sue us for the former.
Bottom Line: Don Bravo Brands is serious about quality and compliance—never about claiming supernatural results. Enjoy the legend, verify the label, drink responsibly, spend responsibly, and always keep laughing.
Questions? Need a certificate of analysis or water‑quality report? Email Legal@DonBravoBrands.com
